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[FIC] Haze (Part 1)

Title: Haze (1/3)
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst, Tragedy, Dark
Setting: anytime after the season 5 premiere, the time’s kind of ambiguous
Word count: 1, 250
Summary: Its a week after the accident before he sees her again.

Its a week after the accident before he sees her again. He’s hyped up on Vicodin and everything in the hospital room is covered with a haze, making everything seem dreamlike and surreal. When he sees her, he’s not sure if she’s real or not. She looks different; she looks as if she’s glowing .
Of course, she looks exactly the same, with her wavy brown hair and bright blue eyes he loved so much. She’s wearing the same thing he remembers her wearing a week ago: a blue dress with black tights, boots and a sweater. He remembers because he’s always loved it when she wore blue, it brought out her eyes.
It doesn’t seem right for her to be there, but the Vicodin and morphine have him so confused nothing seems right anymore. Lily isn’t supposed to be at his bedside, crying and Marshall and Ted aren’t supposed to be so pale and gloomy. He reassures them that he’s fine, just numb, but he can’t remember if he actually said it aloud or not.
He always found it weird in that week after the accident why he never saw her. Lily visited all of the time, occasionally with Marshall and Ted tagging along. But the person he wanted to see the most was never there. He remembers the accident; the pain, confusion and smell of burning rubber. He remembers calling out her name, trying to find out what was going on. He remembers the blood and trying to figure out whether or not it was his.

Its a week and a day after the accident before the painkiller-induced daze starts to disperse. He sees her more clearly now and she’s sitting on the couch across from his bed. He’s thinking more clearly now and it doesn’t seem right. Why is he in a hospital bed and she’s sitting across from him perfectly fine?
It isn’t until the doctors come in to assess his condition that he finds it even more strange. They don’t acknowledge her or tell her to leave the room for a second like they do with Ted, Marshall and Lily. They just ignore her eye rolls and lewd gestures as they tell him about his concussion, multiple fractures and internal bleeding. She smiles brightly as they pull back his gown to look at the stitches from his surgery and lets out a low whistle when they show the rest of his scraped up chest. He winces, too, and tries to send her a weak smile but isn’t exactly sure how to move his face to a smile.

Its a week and three days after the accident before he hears her speak. Before, she’d only be in the background as he faded in and out of consciousness, making interesting facial expressions and crude motions at the backs of the doctors as they continue to ignore her. She looks the same as she did when he first saw her again after the accident and he finds it strange that she’s still wearing the blue dress. Has she gone home yet?
The first thing she says to him is completely uneventful. Ted and Lily have just left after their daily recap of happenings outside of the hospital. Ted went on a date with a girl he met at the college bookstore and Lily saved some kindergartner's stuffed bear from a cruel death by glue. Marshall has been trying to figure out his job ever since he had to call in that he had been in an accident, but there had been no luck so far. Strangely, they say nothing of her happenings and she just smirks from her vigil in the corner chair across form him. They don’t acknowledge her existence either and he finds it both strange and kind of rude.
She answers his questioning eyes after they leave with a simple “I’ve been awesomeing,” and her voice startles him so badly that he painfully jolts his neck brace. She laughs, and its the first time he’s heard her laugh since the accident, as he closes his eyes against the shocking pain.

Its two weeks after the accident before he can coherently speak again. Before, he wasn’t sure if he was talking or not because of the Vicodin, but now, he can actually string together coherent thoughts as he tries to make conversation with Lily during a visit. Lily looks sad almost as he deliberately tries not to ask any questions as to whether or not she’s been okay. She sits in her usual spot in the corner and raises her eyebrows as Lily stutters her way through a day in kindergarten, obviously thrown by his new ability to talk back.
His voice is raspy but he tries to make the appropriate comments back while still throwing in his signature catchphrases in the conversation once in a while. Both her and Lily simultaneously grin when he uses the words legendary or awesome in his sentence. He almost groans at Lily’s cheesiness but doesn’t know if his weak vocal chords would respond well to a groan.
He notices that Lily looks wary, almost as if she’s dreading something. Maybe something’s really wrong with him that Lily can’t say or Lily’s expecting him to say something that might not be answerable. Ted and Marshall look the same when they visit and the three of them shoot each other looks every time he struggles to form a sentence in order to contribute to the conversation. Its as if they think he’s something fragile and breakable and the wrong word will make him spiral back into his former medicine-induced haze of cluelessness. He brushes it off as nothing every time he catches a look but he knows eventually it will have to come out.

Its three weeks after the accident before he learns the truth. He can’t help but think that it wasn’t supposed to end this way, just like humans weren’t supposed to travel at such breakneck speeds. Things happen when people sit in metal boxes and move too fast, things that were never supposed to happen to begin with. Moving too fast in metal boxes causes destruction, devastation and depression.
When Lily, Marshall and Ted’s visit coincides with the doctors’ daily assessment, he notices that she’s not sitting in the corner anymore. He’d gotten used to her sitting in the corner and making conversation with her every day. They’d talked about everything in the past week except for the accident and now his vocal chords were almost strengthened back to its original state. But when she suddenly disappears from the room as ten people all cram into his hospital room at the same time, he finds himself looking for her to talk to.
When he takes a break from looking for her in the room, he looks at the people before asking a simple question that he never should have asked.
“Where’s Robin?”
Lily suddenly lets out a sob and Marshall wraps an arm around her shoulder, looking grave. The doctors suddenly look uncomfortable and all shoot looks at each other, trying to find a way out. He sits in his bed, looking at the people, confused before Ted finally answers his quesiton.
“She’s gone, Barney. She didn’t make it.”
He looks confused and is about to protest that, no she’s been in the corner the whole time, before it all comes rushing back.

Its three weeks after the accident and he suddenly can’t breathe.


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Nov. 4th, 2009 09:09 am (UTC)
damn, commented on this already on Barney/Robin. But you seem cool. Mind if I friend you?
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )